Earlier tonight I was giving my two boys a bath. And when I do that, i sing to them. I sing both loudly, and fairly badly. But they don't really care, the bathroom tile does wonders with acoustics and since it is the first fifteen minutes since they got home from school that my wife doesn't have to deal with them, she's usually keen to keep her otherwise witty comments to herself during this time.
So I'm drying them off, and singing Paul Simon's 'American Tune' (yeah, we sing GOOD SONGS here, not this 'wheel's on the bus' shit!) and he's gently rocking to the music, and I just feel... good. But the song is pretty moving, and it's not entirely a feel-good tune. (It's not depressing, juts... solemn.) So, after we were finished, I tried looking on you-tube for a karaoke version (no vocals), that I could sing to while my wife was out. (Being a firm believer in the eighth amendment, after all!) And I found one, but... a very different version than the one I knew (from the "Concert in Central Park" Live Album?) So I couldn't really sing to it. (Even beyond the fact that I can't really sing!)
So I started surfing YouTube, watching Paul Simon videos, when I saw one with Paul and John Lennon, appearing in some really chessy 1970's talk show together. No music, really awful jokes. But from there I started watching some John Lennon videos, and eventually came to the one's related to John death. Now... I was 7 years old when John Lennon died, and my parents were not Beatles fans. I have no first hand memories of John Lennon from when he was alive, and was not really aware of the man or the story at the time. (The first artist's death that I was aware of was Harry Chapin's, two years later. I didn't cry then; but I almost do now, thinking of it.) And something just struck me... Between Paul McCartney trying to play it cool to the British press later that evening, yet obviously too stunned to pull it off (probably the first time in his life that's happened) to the news casters, half of whom treated it like the weather report. (And fine, I do truly long for the days when the news was presented without all the sensationalist grandstanding, but considering what John Lennon meant to the world, reading the release with the emotional involvement that you give a sports score from a game that doesn't matter in a sport that you don't even follow hardly seems appropriate.) And finally there was the reaction of then President-Elect Reagan, who it seemed to me could barely contain his apathy. Granted it was the Reporter who brought up gun control, but Reagan positively BOOKED it from the interview at that point. He actually answered the question with a talking point as he walked quickly away. The "great communicator." The president elect. Upon being informed of the grisly murder of music's greatest living icon. (Even if his was a damned, dirty, pinko, commie, hippy - A fact that no doubt drove Reagan crazy!) Anyway, I don't know why but after watching so many utterly lifeless news reports about this terrible event, possibly the first "JFK" moment of my lifetime, albeit one I don't remember, I started feeling depressed.
Really depressed. (And to be honest, it hasn't taken much lately.)
So I decided I needed to laugh. A lot. I needed a good dose of the only alternative medicine that's worth a damn. And my dose was expertly doled out by Seanbaby, the two-time Silver Star winning contributer to Cracked.com.
Here you go:
The four most irresponsible sex advice books of all time
(The funniest part might be that they're all written by the same guy! I guess... Seanbaby wants his money back? IDK.) (Sorry, Seanbaby: You know I love you, man! PLEASE don't give me the "Godek" treatment if you happen to read this!)
It's 99% genius, and here's a piece of gold worth remembering:
#132: There's always nude dusting, nude room painting, nude dish washing... (You get the idea)
To which Seanbaby replies:
Yeah, I get the idea that after you clean something, there's more pubic hair on it than when you started.There's more, but I almost fell out my chair when reading that. So you'll have to check out the rest for yourselves. If you ever need a really good laugh (and you know who you are!) there are few writers out there better than Seanbaby to give you an overdose.
Cheers!
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BTW... I only plan to do two more posts this year, since we'll be busy with the holidays, and travelling to boot. (No, not to "Boot," to BOSTON. I meant "as well!") The next one will be the December Gold Star Winners, and the last is just a year's-end / holiday sign off. Starting next year, I'll be trying to go back to something resembling my former writing schedule, but I don't see another month like October anytime soon. Plus I'm finally taking an actual drawing class, (which I've never actually done before!) so I should be getting my next comic strip off the ground a couple of weeks in. I'll probably create a tab at the top of the blog, where I can stash anything related to the project, and have a place to link to any of the older posts that I've put up about it. Anyway, until then, take care, get your shopping done (the economy needs it!) and enjoy your holidays!
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