RIP, Rapid Robert

Abbott: Now, you've got to get ready for the opening game.
Costello: Yes, I think we're gonna play the Cleveland Indians.
Abbott: Cleveland Indians, eh?
Costello: Uh-huh.
Abbott: Feller pitching?
Costello: Certainly there's a feller pitching. Who do you think they'd use, a girl?
Abbott: I know they don't use a girl. I said, “Feller pitching?”
Costello: What feller?
Abbott: Feller with the Cleveland Indians.
Costello: Look, Abbott, there's nine guys on the Cleveland Indians team. Now which feller are you talking about?
Abbott: Feller that's pitching. There is only one Feller with Cleveland.
Costello: You mean nine Yankees are gonna play against one feller?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: You mean there's no fellers in the outfield?
Abbott: No.
Costello: And there's no fellers in the infield?
Abbott: No, Cleveland only has one Feller.
Costello: Well, this feller must be pretty good if they don't need any other players for themselves.
Abbott: Look, all the players'll be out there helping him.
Costello: You just said there was only one feller on the team.
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Then where did all them other fellers come from?
Abbott: Aw, you idiot, when I say there's only one Feller on the team, I mean there is only one Feller that pitches.
Costello: Well, Abbott, when the manager of the team wants this pitcher, what does he call him?
Abbott: Feller.
Costello: You mean he just hollers, “Hey, feller!” And this guy knows that they mean him?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ho-hooo!
Abbott: His name is Feller. Feller. Bob Feller. And when I say there is only one Feller on the team that pitches, that's it. And the feller that pitches is Feller. There's the other fellers on the team, but there's only one Feller.
Costello: Boy are you mixed up! You mean the feller that pitches is Feller? And there's other fellers on the team but they're not Fellers?
Abbott: Now you've grasped it.
Costello: Yes, I grasp it but it keeps slippin' out of my hands!

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On December 15th, Cleveland Indians Great Bob Feller died just a few months after being diagnosed with Leukemia.  He was 92.  Feller broke into the majors in 1936 at the age of 17, never having thrown a single pitch in the minors.  In that season, he struck out 17 batters in a single game, becoming the first and last pitcher to strike out his age in a game until 20-Year old Kerry Wood in 1998.  He threw three no-hitters, including the only one ever on opening day.  He won 266 Games (against 166 losses) and Struck out 2581 batters.  And while he fell short of two of baseball's hallowed milestones (300 wins & 3000 Strikeouts), this is largely due to to his sacrificing three full seasons, and almost all of a fourth, to serve his country in World War II.  He was the first Major Leaguer to enlist, immediately following the attack on Pearl Harbor.  A decorated combat veteran, with  five campaign ribbons and eight battle stars, (no cushy, PR assignments for "Bullet Bob!") Feller is the only Chief Petty Officer in the history of the Untied States Navy to be inducted into the Hall of Fame in ANY of the four major North American Sports.  BTW those years he "gave up?" were in the prime of his career, from the ages of 23-26.  He won 20 or more games in each of the three seasons that preceded them and each of the two that followed. He also struck out over 240 batter in each of the four preceding years, and 348 the year he returned.  When asked about his (well earned) status as a War Hero, Feller replied, “I’m no hero. Heroes don’t come back. Survivors return home. Heroes never come home. If anyone thinks I’m a hero, I’m not.”

It might be wrong to make heroes out of athletes, but that's only because they don't make 'em like Bob Feller anymore.