Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to You All!

Many's the time I've been mistaken
And many times confused
Yes, and I've often felt forsaken
And certainly misused
Oh, but I'm all right, I'm all right
I'm just weary to my bones
Still, you don't expect to be
Bright and bon vivant
So far away from home, so far away from home

And I don't know a soul who's not been battered
I don't have a friend who feels at ease
I don't know a dream that's not been shattered
or driven to its knees
but it's all right, it's all right
for we lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the
road we're traveling on
I wonder what's gone wrong
I can't help it, I wonder what's gone wrong

(me too, Paul)

And I dreamed I was dying
I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly
And looking back down at me
Smiled reassuringly
And I dreamed I was flying
And high up above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty
Sailing away to sea
And I dreamed I was flying

For we come on the ship they call the Mayflower
We come on the ship that sailed the moon
We come in the age's most uncertain hours
and sing an American tune
Oh, and it's alright, it's all right, it's all right
You can't be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow's going to be another working day
And I'm trying to get some rest
That's all I'm trying to get some rest



I'm signing off for the year, folks. I hope to hear again from all of you (and I do mean ALL of you!) in the New Year.  Until then, take care of yourselves, have a safe and happy holiday and thank you so much for the time we've shared.  It means more to me than it probably should.  LOL.

The last two year have each been better than the one before them.  Let all make sure to keep that trend going and make it three.

Cheers.

RIP, Rapid Robert

Abbott: Now, you've got to get ready for the opening game.
Costello: Yes, I think we're gonna play the Cleveland Indians.
Abbott: Cleveland Indians, eh?
Costello: Uh-huh.
Abbott: Feller pitching?
Costello: Certainly there's a feller pitching. Who do you think they'd use, a girl?
Abbott: I know they don't use a girl. I said, “Feller pitching?”
Costello: What feller?
Abbott: Feller with the Cleveland Indians.
Costello: Look, Abbott, there's nine guys on the Cleveland Indians team. Now which feller are you talking about?
Abbott: Feller that's pitching. There is only one Feller with Cleveland.
Costello: You mean nine Yankees are gonna play against one feller?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: You mean there's no fellers in the outfield?
Abbott: No.
Costello: And there's no fellers in the infield?
Abbott: No, Cleveland only has one Feller.
Costello: Well, this feller must be pretty good if they don't need any other players for themselves.
Abbott: Look, all the players'll be out there helping him.
Costello: You just said there was only one feller on the team.
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Then where did all them other fellers come from?
Abbott: Aw, you idiot, when I say there's only one Feller on the team, I mean there is only one Feller that pitches.
Costello: Well, Abbott, when the manager of the team wants this pitcher, what does he call him?
Abbott: Feller.
Costello: You mean he just hollers, “Hey, feller!” And this guy knows that they mean him?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ho-hooo!
Abbott: His name is Feller. Feller. Bob Feller. And when I say there is only one Feller on the team that pitches, that's it. And the feller that pitches is Feller. There's the other fellers on the team, but there's only one Feller.
Costello: Boy are you mixed up! You mean the feller that pitches is Feller? And there's other fellers on the team but they're not Fellers?
Abbott: Now you've grasped it.
Costello: Yes, I grasp it but it keeps slippin' out of my hands!

--------------------------------

On December 15th, Cleveland Indians Great Bob Feller died just a few months after being diagnosed with Leukemia.  He was 92.  Feller broke into the majors in 1936 at the age of 17, never having thrown a single pitch in the minors.  In that season, he struck out 17 batters in a single game, becoming the first and last pitcher to strike out his age in a game until 20-Year old Kerry Wood in 1998.  He threw three no-hitters, including the only one ever on opening day.  He won 266 Games (against 166 losses) and Struck out 2581 batters.  And while he fell short of two of baseball's hallowed milestones (300 wins & 3000 Strikeouts), this is largely due to to his sacrificing three full seasons, and almost all of a fourth, to serve his country in World War II.  He was the first Major Leaguer to enlist, immediately following the attack on Pearl Harbor.  A decorated combat veteran, with  five campaign ribbons and eight battle stars, (no cushy, PR assignments for "Bullet Bob!") Feller is the only Chief Petty Officer in the history of the Untied States Navy to be inducted into the Hall of Fame in ANY of the four major North American Sports.  BTW those years he "gave up?" were in the prime of his career, from the ages of 23-26.  He won 20 or more games in each of the three seasons that preceded them and each of the two that followed. He also struck out over 240 batter in each of the four preceding years, and 348 the year he returned.  When asked about his (well earned) status as a War Hero, Feller replied, “I’m no hero. Heroes don’t come back. Survivors return home. Heroes never come home. If anyone thinks I’m a hero, I’m not.”

It might be wrong to make heroes out of athletes, but that's only because they don't make 'em like Bob Feller anymore.

Gold Star Awards, December, 2010

This is a day later than I'd expected, mainly because I've spent about 42 of the last 44 hours in bed, sick as a dog.  (The other two hours were spent visiting Doctor Obvious who told me to "get lots of rest" and "stay hydrated.")  And on a different note, modeling these personal  "Hall of Fame" inductees after the MLB Hall of Fame Election has taken on an increasing somber feeling these past couple of weeks, first with the passing of former Cubs Third Basemen, Ron Santo (who's not in the Hall of Fame, but should be!) and then last week with the passing of former Cleveland Indians Hall of Fame Pitcher, Bob Feller.  I'm actually going to do a piece on Feller before signing off for the year, but BOTH of these men were not only fine ballplayers, but fine gentlemen, citizens, human beings and heroes.  Too often in our society, we put athletes on pedestals who don't belong there.  Part of that, however, is due to the fact that they just don't make 'em like Santo and Feller any more.

Now without further ado, here's thins month's HoF inductees.  In accordance with the 1956 HoF election, there will be two Gold Stars.


The Joe Cronin Gold Star #33: FAIR

I want to thank ClassicLiberal for turning me on to these guys.  Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting has been in the media watchdog biz since 1986.  And despite the rapid growth of rabidly Right Wing media in that time, they have not allowed that to cause them to narrow their focus and start giving mainstream media a pass (a trap that a certain other media watchdog has unfortunately fallen into.)  While the individual piece do not have the same depth as the average MMFA piece, and the comment sections are not nearly as interesting (which means that haven't attracted a high enough class of partisan troll) FAIR gets full credit for staying true to its original mission, and not being distracted by the loudest clown vying for their attention.


The Hank Greenberg Gold Star #34: The Democratic Underground

Putting aside the reams of great content and ironic humor, can you really come up with a cooler site-name that this one?  I mean... who doesn't want to be part of an "underground?" (Sorry, I'm tapped. Just like with the last blog I nominated, not much I can say that I haven't said a dozen before. Great stuff, though. Check it out.)

S'more Rambling...

Just some random rambling, because I feel to compelled to write something tonight, but as too sick, achy and tired to be profound.  So I want to share something with you that will make you laugh your asses off.  BUT... I want to share the emotional roller coaster that got me there as well. (Of course, you may also feel free to skip down to the link if you don't care! I won't mind!) ;)

Earlier tonight I was giving my two boys a bath.  And when I do that, i sing to them.  I sing both loudly, and fairly badly.  But they don't really care, the bathroom tile does wonders with acoustics and since it is the first fifteen minutes since they got home from school that my wife doesn't have to deal with them, she's usually keen to keep her otherwise witty comments to herself during this time.

So I'm drying them off, and singing Paul Simon's 'American Tune' (yeah, we sing GOOD SONGS here, not this 'wheel's on the bus' shit!) and he's gently rocking to the music, and I just feel... good.  But the song is pretty moving, and it's not entirely a feel-good tune. (It's not depressing, juts... solemn.) So, after we were finished, I tried looking on you-tube for a karaoke  version (no vocals), that I could sing to while my wife was out. (Being a firm believer in the eighth amendment, after all!)  And I found one, but... a very different version than the one I knew (from the "Concert in Central Park" Live Album?)  So I couldn't really sing to it.  (Even beyond the fact that I can't really sing!)

So I started surfing YouTube, watching Paul Simon videos, when I saw one with Paul and John Lennon, appearing in some really chessy 1970's talk show together.  No music, really awful jokes.  But from there I started watching some John Lennon videos, and eventually came to the one's related to John death.  Now... I was 7 years old when John Lennon died, and my parents were not Beatles fans. I have no first hand memories of John Lennon from when he was alive, and was not really aware of the man or the story at the time.  (The first artist's death that I was aware of was Harry Chapin's, two years later.  I didn't cry then; but I almost do now, thinking of it.)  And something just struck me... Between Paul McCartney trying to play it cool to the British press later that evening, yet obviously too stunned to pull it off (probably the first time in his life that's happened) to the news casters, half of whom treated it like the weather report. (And fine, I do truly long for the days when the news was presented without all the sensationalist grandstanding, but considering what John Lennon meant to the world, reading the release with the emotional involvement that you give a sports score from a game that doesn't matter in a sport that you don't even follow hardly seems appropriate.) And finally there was the reaction of then President-Elect Reagan, who it seemed to me could barely contain his apathy. Granted it was the Reporter who brought up gun control, but Reagan positively BOOKED it from the interview at that point.  He actually answered the question with a talking point as he walked quickly away. The "great communicator." The president elect.  Upon being informed of the grisly murder of music's greatest living icon.  (Even if his was a damned, dirty, pinko, commie, hippy -  A fact that no doubt drove Reagan crazy!)  Anyway, I don't know why but after watching so many utterly lifeless news reports about this terrible event, possibly the first "JFK" moment of my lifetime, albeit one I don't remember, I started feeling depressed. 

Really depressed.  (And to be honest, it hasn't taken much lately.)

So I decided I needed to laugh. A lot.  I needed a good dose of the only alternative medicine that's worth a damn.  And my dose was expertly doled out by Seanbaby, the two-time Silver Star winning contributer to Cracked.com.

Here you go:
The four most irresponsible sex advice books of all time

(The funniest part might be that they're all written by the same guy!  I guess... Seanbaby wants his money back? IDK.) (Sorry, Seanbaby: You know I love you, man! PLEASE don't give me the "Godek" treatment if you happen to read this!)

It's 99% genius, and here's a piece of gold worth remembering:

#132: There's always nude dusting, nude room painting, nude dish washing... (You get the idea)

To which Seanbaby replies:

Yeah, I get the idea that after you clean something, there's more pubic hair on it than when you started.

There's more, but I almost fell out my chair when reading that.  So you'll have to check out the rest for yourselves.  If you ever need a really good laugh (and you know who you are!) there are few writers out there better than Seanbaby to give you an overdose.

Cheers!

-----------------------------------------------------------

BTW... I only plan to do two more posts this year, since we'll be busy with the holidays, and travelling to boot. (No, not to "Boot," to BOSTON.  I meant "as well!") The next one will be the December Gold Star Winners, and the last is just a year's-end / holiday sign off.  Starting next year, I'll be trying to go back to something resembling my former writing schedule, but I don't see another month like October anytime soon.  Plus I'm finally taking an actual drawing class, (which I've never actually done before!) so I should be getting my next comic strip off the ground a couple of weeks in.  I'll probably create a tab at the top of the blog, where I can stash anything related to the project, and have a place to link to any of the older posts that I've put up about it.  Anyway, until then, take care, get your shopping done (the economy needs it!) and enjoy your holidays!

Some Random Stuff...

1) Check this out: The 10 Most Irreplaceable Performances in Comedy Films.

The article is almost as funny as the movies it's talking about. But then... That's Seanbaby. Who before his gig at Cracked, created the website that won my Silver Star #5: Seanbaby's Super Friends. (So technically, between that and his contributions to Cracked, he's got two Silver Stars.)


 
2) So... the repeal of DADT failed. Nice.  Nice political calculus, Obama.  (God, he's so useless.)  But I want to point of someting about these Republicans. Does anyone else find it ironic that they're so willing and eager to send other people's children halfway around the world to fight for "freedom," but they're unwilling to fight for actual freedom themselves, from the comfort of their own desks? Disgraceful.

 
 
3) My son is upstairs watching Rankin & Bass's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (and the island of misfit toys) for the 2nd time tonight.  IDK... Holiday Specials don't seem so special on DVD - when you can watch them anytime you want, or five times in a row.  But there's something I noticed just now...
 
I think everyone is aware that Rudolph himself is a pretty heavey-ham-handed metaphor for racism.  He's like the Jackie Robinson of Reindeer.  Coach Comet telling eveyone how they're not going to let Rudolph play in the reindeer games?  Yeah, it seems pretty silly today, but this was 1964: Pre-Civil Rights Act, etc...  
 
And to be honest, I really don't know if that was intentional or not.
 
But there's another charecter that's a near perfect metaphor that couldn't POSSIBLY have been intentional at the time: Hermey the Elf (who wants to be a Dentist, even though Elves are all supposed to make toys) is a near-perfect metaphor for Transgenderism.  I don't know if I'm late in coming to this realization or  what, but evrything about his character, and how he is treated by others (until they finally accept him as a dentist) is a perfect fit for transgenderism. 
 
I just noticed that.
 

 
4) The following is... incredibly filthy.  (But IMHO, freaking hilarious.) But if you're easily offended, fuck off you probably shouldn't click any of the following links.  The latest post / issue (what do call the latest offering of a web-comic anyway?) of OGLAF made me LOL.  To get the joke, you have to read one of the back issues first.  All I can say is...
 
(1) Poor Wizard.
(2) ROTFLMAO
(3) Shame of you! That's some filthy, smutty excuse for humor!
 
The "backstory" (I'm sorry, but the look on the Wizard's face in the 2nd to last panel is priceless!
The Latest, page 1
The Latest, page 2
 
Yeah... that strip's generally NSFW.  It's... filthy.  There's no two ways about it.  Most of it still make me laugh my ass off though.
 
 
Later!

Tax Cuts for Millonaires

And to think that just this morning, I was arguing with someone over whether or not Obama had a tendency to cave to the Right...

Well, the Right got their tax cuts extended.  All of them.  And this after two years of hammering Obama about the DEFICIT!  Un-be-fucking-lievable.

And the best line out of the whole debate?

After having to jetison the Making Work Pay tax credit (for individuals making under $75K and couples making less than $150K) which was part of last year's (Obama's) stimulus bill, the biggest SOB in the Senate, Orin Hatch had the nerve to complain that the Make Work Pay tax credit in effect exempted too many middle-income Americans from having to pay income taxes.

Give that one to you RW friends to stick in their pipe and smoke the next time they tell you the Republicans aren't just out for "tax cuts for millionares," of for that matter that Obama doesn't cave to the Right:

The top 2% got their tax break, but the rest of us lost a big one of ours. 

Why the fuck do we even need this guy? (Obama.)  What has he done that the GUYS WHO LOST (when he came into office) wouldn't have done?  Seriously.  Fifty-nine votes in the Senate and they give the tax cut to the top 2% and screw over everyone else.

That's actually WORSE than Bush.  At least Bush gave me SOMETHING.

The only cut I'm getting?  My social security tax.  AT A TIME WHEN WE'RE CONSTANTLY HEARING THAT SOCIAL SECURITY IS GOING BROKE!  (And from the Republicans, no less! How does this shit even HAPPEN?!)

He's actually worse than Bush.  Relative to what he was given and what he had to work with, politically?   Obama is worse than Bush.

It's un-fucking-believable.

The only thing worse are these idiots who are STILL going around trying to call him a socialist.

This is not what I voted for. Not at all. Lemme know who the 2012 primary challenger is, ASAP.  Because unless Sarah Palin is leading the other ticket, and it's someone who can't beat her?

They've already got my vote.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And BTW, I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of Elizabeth Edwards.  It's been a rough week, first Ron Santo, and now Edwards.  My thoughts are with both of their families.  You have my sincerest condolences.

Glenn Beck is amazing!

In the Quentin Tarantino-written movie, True Romance,  Don Vincenzo (played by Christopher Walken) explains to the soon-to-be-tortured-and-executed  Clifford Whorley (played by the late Dennis Hopper) that “Sicilians are great liars,” and that “[his] father was the world heavy weight champion of Sicilian liars.”  That may have been true in the Tarantino-verse, but I’m betting that his Don Vincenzo’s father couldn’t hold a CANDLE to the new heavyweight champion of American, Right Wing Liars: GLENN “BOOM-BOOM” BECK.

Consider this. As of earlier today, Media Matters has 4,424 items from this oracle of obfuscation, dating back to January 17^th of 2006, when CNN first hired him.  That’s exactly 1,781 days ago.  Which means that Glenn Beck has lied an average of two and half (2.48) times a day*, every day, for the past FIVE YEARS! And that doesn’t even account for the time he was off the air between his ouster at CNN and when Fox picked him up.  Now… one might say that maybe he’s not “lying,” per se, because he actually believes this stuff, or that he’s not “lying,” just really bad at research, journalism, etc…  But I’m not willing to give him the benefit of that doubt here.  Because when you rake in over $30 Million Dollars a year to talk about current events, you really should GET IT RIGHT occasionally.  If you’re paid that much, and screw up two and half times a day for five years?  You’re a paid liar, and you know it.

This past week however, Glenn Beck has truly outdone himself, both with the number of lies, the diversity of subject matter, and the absolute, utter absurdity of the claims being made.  The following are just SOME of the items from MMFA, just in past couple of days:

Here’s Beck, making things up about the Food Safety Bill,

Making things up about Health Care Reform,

Making things up about the Smithsonian,

Making things up about the Federal Reserve,

Making things up about Wikipedia,

And finally, making things up about Net Neutrality.

That last one is particularly artful/egregious, as it manages to conflate the RW distortion of the Fairness Doctrine, which was taken off the books almost 10 years before the Internet was even a thing, and their idiotic opposition to Net Neutrality which (usually) amounts to little more than “It’s a violation of their freedom of speech to prohibit them from censoring you. ”  It’s also truly amazing, when you consider the long established RW opposition to Net Neutrality, that he could seriously manage to screw up the basic premise of the issue that badly.

But then… He’s Glenn Beck.  A very good candidate to become MMFA’s very first TWO-TIME Misinformer of the year!  (He’s definitely got MY vote!)

(And no, I don’t get a vote.)

*As a point of comparison, Rush Limbaugh had only 2,953 items, dating back to 1/6/06, for an average of just 1.65 lies a day. And Rush has his own section on the website! And yet Glenn Beck is still about 50% more dishonest – by just under a lie a day, over five years – than Rush Limbaugh!  Who have thought that was possible?