The Genesis Code?!

I was playing a game on Sporcle just now, when an ad popped up for the "#1 Christian Movie of the Year!," The Genesis Code. 

Ugh.  Reading the wikipedia entry for it almost made me throw up in my mouth a little.

First of all, I'm sure most of us are in agreement that "Christian Movies" inevitably suck.  And it really has nothing to do with the message.  Lots of good movies have positive and, yes, even Christian messages. And do know what they're called? MOVIES.  Calling something a "Christian Movie?"  That's the advertisers trying to scare everyone away who won't automatically love the movies, solely on the basis of it's "Christian message."  You know... 99% of the population including EVERYONE with any taste in movies at all.

They want only that audience which will sit through two hours of glurgy crap, only to praise it as "uplifting" in the end, because it had something to do with God, Jesus, Miracles, or Faith.  And the more heavy handed the better with these people.  It's like for every poorly delivered line, or question directorial decision all the have to do is say "Jesus" five times, or "Miracles" ten, and somehow they've performed their artistic penance and all is well again.

The people THEY want to watch are the one's who would write a critique of a Miyazaki film, saying how they basically loved every single aspect of it, but in the end couldn't recommend it because it didn't have a "strong enough Christian message to it" or that's "it's spirituality was decidedly non-Christian." (You'd be shocked how often I've seen a review like that on Netflix.)

And did you notice the title? "The Genesis Code?"  I guess that's supposed to be in response to that horribly anti-Christian "DaVinci Code."  This is the M.O. with these people, and with conservatives in general.  Creativity apparently has a liberal bias, because everything they do that is so blatantly "Christian" or "Conservative" is always in response to something SUCCESSFUL that was done by a liberal. "Fahrenhype 9/11," anyone?

And they always love to paint successful movies that have a religious theme, as non-Christian or anti-Christian, don't they?  Think about it: The DaVinci Code, Dogma, The Last Temptation of Christ.... it's absurd.  There is nothing anti-Christian or anti-religious about ANY of those movies! Dogma unequivocally recognizes the existence of God and Angels, as well as the divinity of Jesus Christ!  All of these are central to the story, in fact! The DaVinci Code does the same thing!  And The Last Temptation of Christ?! That's one of the most Christ-affirming movies ever written!  But since it wasn't a word-for-word transcription of the bible? It's somehow satanic.  And do you know WHY? Because to these brain-dead fools, it's a sin to even POSE THE QUESTION, regardless of the fact that you ended up with "right" answer! It doesn't matter that, in the end, these works completely affirm all of these people's core beliefs, differing only on irrelevant details.  To them, the fact that the issue was even explored is a problem.  Why would they let THIS movie off the hook, you ask?  Well: It's a CHRISTIAN movie, isn't it?  They tell you right up front, that they're not REALLY exploring any significant issues related to Christianity.  They're just showing you how wrong the non-believers are.  And that's always OK.

Now, as one of my three heroes once pointed out, "All great works of art have a theme that holds them together." I guess Christian works of "art" need to have three.  This movie's?

1) Evolution vs. creation: A completely invented controversy, invented by funny-mentalists who don't know what the word "metaphor" means. (Or how meaningless the word "literal" is for that matter.)

2) End-of-life decisions: Better pray! Better believe! Better get baptised!  Wouldn't want to burn in hell, would you?  (Can we pull the plug? NO!) (Are they in pain? JESUS WILL COMFORT THEM, DAMMIT!)

3) Discrimination of Christians on the college campus: This is the one that makes me want to vomit.  This is so completely absurd. I would LOVE, absolutely LOOOVE for one of the whack-a-loons to give me one, single, solitary example of "discrimination" that a single Christian has EVER experienced on a college campus in this country. EVER.

This, right here, is the problem with these people's entire philosophy.  They LOVE to play the victim, when they are not only the oppressor, but in fact, in this country, the ONLY oppressor!  Their idea of "discrimination?" NOT BEING ALLOWED TO OPPRESS!  No, actually, even the SUGGESTION that what they do might be oppressive is enough for them to cry "discrimination," even as they write their congressman, or state representative urging them to oppose health care benefits for same-sex couples.

Based on the first "theme," and the movie's title,I'm guessing that what constitutes "discrimination" here consists of some poor Christian who's being "forced" to "give up his beliefs" and accept evolution as a fact, and Genesis as a LIE.  What fucking bullshit.  This is the problem with these people.  This is exemplary of their entire fucking mental illness.  They think that because GENESIS isn't being taught IN THE SCIENCE ROOM as undisputed FACT, that they are being "discriminated against."  (How much you want to bet that one of the characters turns in a paper trying to refute evolution with a summary of the Book of Genesis and gets an "F" on it?)  Never mind that evolution is a THEORY, based on observation.  And teaching evolution is teaching THEORY;  Teaching what other people believe happens, based on observation. Does the STUDENT have to BELIEVE it?  Does the student have to reject Genesis to pass a science class? NO and FUCKING NO!  All the student has to do is demonstrate that s/he UNDERSTANDS the theory!  DUH!  Acceptance and belief in it are not required!  I'm so sick and tired of these fuck-wads that don;'t understand this.  It is not a sin to understand a theory.  Nor does understanding that theory somehow mean that you must accept it any other.  And yes, a refutation of that theory must address the EVIDENCE IT IS BASED ON, rather than be made up of a repetition of your Christian dogma!

For fuck's sake, that does not constitute discrimination!

If you're asked to provide a summary of Darwin's theory and you can't do that, YOU FAIL.  End of story, boo-fucking-hoo!  "Disproving" it by evangelizing about Genesis is no more legitimate an answer than giving a review of a film you just saw, or listing the recipe for your Grandmother's Southern-style potato salad: IT DOESN'T ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.  And if asked to provide an alternative explanation? Requiring that it be evidence-based, as opposed to passionate defense of your FAITH, based solely on DOGMA? Can not possibly be discrimination, unless you believe the entire scientific method to be. And let's face it, if the scientific method, so completely destroys your ability to believe in your dogma?  It's time to reject the dogma, not the scientific method. 

Asking someone to THINK, and teaching them HOW TO is not a discriminatory act.  In fact?  That's exactly what you paid tuition for them to do!  To do otherwise? To teach dogma, that runs contrary to evidence? To tell students to ACCEPT, rather than question?  That IS a discriminatory act.  And any student who experiences THAT? Should demand his tuition be refunded.

Some Random Stuff...

1) Check this out: The 10 Most Irreplaceable Performances in Comedy Films.

The article is almost as funny as the movies it's talking about. But then... That's Seanbaby. Who before his gig at Cracked, created the website that won my Silver Star #5: Seanbaby's Super Friends. (So technically, between that and his contributions to Cracked, he's got two Silver Stars.)


 
2) So... the repeal of DADT failed. Nice.  Nice political calculus, Obama.  (God, he's so useless.)  But I want to point of someting about these Republicans. Does anyone else find it ironic that they're so willing and eager to send other people's children halfway around the world to fight for "freedom," but they're unwilling to fight for actual freedom themselves, from the comfort of their own desks? Disgraceful.

 
 
3) My son is upstairs watching Rankin & Bass's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (and the island of misfit toys) for the 2nd time tonight.  IDK... Holiday Specials don't seem so special on DVD - when you can watch them anytime you want, or five times in a row.  But there's something I noticed just now...
 
I think everyone is aware that Rudolph himself is a pretty heavey-ham-handed metaphor for racism.  He's like the Jackie Robinson of Reindeer.  Coach Comet telling eveyone how they're not going to let Rudolph play in the reindeer games?  Yeah, it seems pretty silly today, but this was 1964: Pre-Civil Rights Act, etc...  
 
And to be honest, I really don't know if that was intentional or not.
 
But there's another charecter that's a near perfect metaphor that couldn't POSSIBLY have been intentional at the time: Hermey the Elf (who wants to be a Dentist, even though Elves are all supposed to make toys) is a near-perfect metaphor for Transgenderism.  I don't know if I'm late in coming to this realization or  what, but evrything about his character, and how he is treated by others (until they finally accept him as a dentist) is a perfect fit for transgenderism. 
 
I just noticed that.
 

 
4) The following is... incredibly filthy.  (But IMHO, freaking hilarious.) But if you're easily offended, fuck off you probably shouldn't click any of the following links.  The latest post / issue (what do call the latest offering of a web-comic anyway?) of OGLAF made me LOL.  To get the joke, you have to read one of the back issues first.  All I can say is...
 
(1) Poor Wizard.
(2) ROTFLMAO
(3) Shame of you! That's some filthy, smutty excuse for humor!
 
The "backstory" (I'm sorry, but the look on the Wizard's face in the 2nd to last panel is priceless!
The Latest, page 1
The Latest, page 2
 
Yeah... that strip's generally NSFW.  It's... filthy.  There's no two ways about it.  Most of it still make me laugh my ass off though.
 
 
Later!