Why Republican's need to learn about DARWIN...

I don't know whether I should be fuming or laughing my ass off. Two stories I heard today.

First on NPR this morning...

Apparently the town of DISH, TEXAS (so named so that the residents get free satellite TV, I shit you not) is experiencing health problems. You see, their downwind for a series of about 1200 compressors along a natural gas line that pump the natural gas for the oil shale in one part of the state to refineries in another. These compressors are HUGE and are basically powered by HUGE internal combustion engines - over a thousand of them. And ever since these have been installed, the resident are getting headaches, dizziness, nausea and all kinds of other symptoms, and the dept of evironmental quality have found high level of carcinogens like benzene and other nasty stuff in the air and water. Trees are dying horses and cows (remember: its Texas) are getting sick, going blind, having other problems and either dying or having to be put down...

And you know what? I say, "SCREW 'EM."

FUCKING TEXAS. A state full of global-warming denying oil-men and cowboy-conservatives who poke fun at enviormentalists and scientists and liberals and Democrats. So FUCK 'EM. I hope they all get cancer and die. Then maybe their neighbors might try LISTENING to the scientists and environmentalists when they warn of problems next time instead of mocking them, listening to the oil and gas companies, and their RELIGION, and voting REPUBLICAN so that these companies can poison them with impunity. FUCK 'EM. They get what they deserve. WAIT, NO I TAKE THAT BACK: THEY GET WHAT THEY BEGGED FOR, WHAT THEY CAMPAIGNED FOR, WHAT THEY LOBBIED FOR, AND WHAT THEY VOTED FOR. So SCREW 'EM.

That might sound harsh, but the problem with Darwin is that his forces work way too slowly, and most of these idiots have already bred.

And should I happen to have any liberal friends down in Texas, I offer no apologies. I'm sure if you look around, you'll see that you're basically surrounded by what I'm talking about. I've been to Texas a few times and I been to Massachusetts countless times. And I guaren-god-damn-tee you there are are more Conservatives in Massachusetts than there are Liberals in Texas.

Second, just now on Countdown...

Congressman Joseph "YOU LIE!" Wilson, who voted against giving more money to fund the distribution of the H1N1 Vaccine, is now blaming OBAMA for their not being enough Vaccine to go around. Why the sudden urgency? Apparently his wife contracted H1N1. Good. I hope she dies. He can live with that, and with his vote, and with his party's stupid, vaccant, useless, greedy political philosophy for the rest of his miserable short-ass life. I say short-ass life, because I hope that she gives it to HIM and HE DIES. And then I hope that Obama and the rest of the Dem's have the BALLS to call out everyone (Republican AND Democrat, if there were nay) who voted against that funding and BLAME THEM for these deaths. Their names should go with H1N1 like Bacon and Eggs. Then MAYBE these assholes will grow up and start helping govern the country, instead of obstructing everything in sight only to turn around and hit the campaign trail crying, "See? The Democrats couldn't get anything done! Vote for us instead!"

I hate these bastards! I hate these bastards! I hate these bastards!

(deep breathing)

(more deep breathing)

(slower breathing)

(normal breathing)

Did anyone ever tell you that it's not good to bottle stuff up? To let stuff build up inside you? It's good advice. See... If you do, something like [the above] might happen, and you'll look like a real asshole.

Oh well.

Works for Lewis Black.