Who IS this guy?!

'Niceguy' Eddie

Political Talk Show Host and Internet Radio Personality. My show, In My Humble Opinion, aired on RainbowRadio from 2015-2017.

Feel free to contact me at niceguy9418@usa.com. You can also friend me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, and Tumblr, and support my Patreon. Also, if you don't mind the stench, you can find my unofficial "fan club" over HERE. ;)


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

GPS Tracking

I heard an interesting story this morning on NPR about the FBI (and other law enforcement agencies) using GPS tracking devices, magnetically attached to cars, to track people; typically drug dealers, and the occasional terrorism suspects. They say it’s easier than doing traditional visual surveillance: You can gather more data, with less manpower. Also they claimed that it was “fail-safe” (which I think means something different… I think they meant “fool-proof”) since you don’t run the risk of the tail being made and lost by the quarry. And as I listened I could already hear the Conservatives complaining about Liberals wanting to take this critical tool away from Law Enforcement. And of course I had to tell those voices in my head that it’s not about whether or not they can DO it, but whether or not they should have a warrant. (Yes, I often have these little conversations with myself. I do so love good conversation!)

But for the moment, I’d like to put aside the legal issues here and the subtle differences between visually tailing someone (which typically can be done without a warrant) and tracking them (which is in question, but for now is typically being done without a warrant.) I mean… Yeah, I think they should need a warrant. But it’s a point that I can certainly see being debated either way. In any case, that’s not what I really want to talk about right now. I want to put all that aside for the moment, and instead give the following advice to anyone who should come across one of these devices on their cars:

1) If they're tracking you? It’s because they don’t have enough agents to actually WATCH you. (That’s the whole cost-effectiveness argument, remember?) So there’s a good chance they won’t see you do what I’m about to suggest.

2) Remove the device, but just leave it in the back seat, so they won’t notice anything. (Yeah, and whatever you do, don’t take pictures of it and put them on the internet!)

3) Drive into the city, or whatever your “downtown” is.

4) Look for a car with out-of-state plates.

5) Park next to them.

6) Attach the device to THAT car.

7) Sit back for a few days and LOL at the FBI, as they try to figure just out what the hell is going on, and why their suspect suddenly up and moved to Wyoming.

So much for this being a more fool-proof way to keep tabs on someone than basic, visual surveillance, huh?

I love the smell of entropy in the morning!


  1. Eddie, you forgot one very important step. Wipe the device clean of any fingerprints.

  2. Totally not necessary at all. They know who's car it was that they put it on in first place. And seeing as how they ARE detectives, it shouldn't take them too long, with or without fingerprints, to figure out how it got onto the new car. Personally, I'd even leave them a note, something like, "SUCK IT, FUCKERS!" Or something like that. LOL

  3. Good point. How about wiping dog shit on it first?

  4. Well... LOL, except that (1) It IS going on to SOME GUY's car! (And what'd he ever do to you? LOL) And (2) That might help HIM discover it, which just means the Bureau gets their tracker back faster. ;)

  5. Reading the article you linked to, Eddie, makes clear that the newer devices are harder to detect than the one on Affifi's car, and would take some considerable work to make operational on a stranger's vehicle. They're hardwired to the car's battery, rather than having their own, limited use, energy source. If you're going to go to that trouble, you'd better get your fingerprints off the device, because it is government property after all, and the FBI would be pissed if you sent them on a wild-goose chase. There are a number of charges they could bring. Just remember the threat the agent made to Affifi about what would happen if he didn't cooperate, and the two cars with cops in bp vests. These guys are more identified by their abuse of power than their sense of humor.

  6. Bunch of party-poopers and spoil-sports is what we've got here!


    In the words of Eric Cartman, "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!"


    But, seriously, thanks for your comment!